Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Playing Catch Up

Hello blogger friends and followers! Sorry I haven't been around, things on my end have been fairly busy. How are things going with you all?!

I'll do my best to give a rundown of exactly what's been happening for those that are interested.

My last post I mentioned my paranoia about what could possibly be wrong with me. And even though I did it in a joking manner I was completely serious. I knew that something was wrong with me, I've known this since for some time now. So I did finally take that first step and make an appt. with a doctor. The result? I'm seriously messed up. Ok....hopefully not messed up as in, beyond repair although that is how I feel at this times. I have anxiety issues, which I did already know just not to the degree the doctor thinks, and some depression. I'm trying to look on the bright side of this (for those that know me personally, yes I do sometimes do that just not as often as I should), doesn't like 1.5 million people all over the world suffer from depression? So I'm not alone in this. Which doesn't make me feel like a complete failure of a human being.

We figured out why I go on cleaning binges constantly of the entire house, why I feel the need to rearrange the furniture every time you turn around, why I sometimes feel like my heart stops for even half a second and why I sometimes feel like my heart is beating in my ears. Anxiety/anxiety attacks.

Aside from the anxiety and depression I also have OCD. Yes people often joke about someone being OCD and all that but when you really have it, it's not that funny. Really. I have the type that my canned,boxed, all my groceries have to be a certain way, in a certain order; I stack things, including dirty dishes, in a specific order, and I don't like people putting things in the shopping trolley b/c they have to go in a certain way....same thing with the belt at the grocery. I get anxious when other people do this, the husband included. Then my anxiety turns to anger and I don't understand why people can't just let me stack my things the way I need to stack them check-out clerk!

Another OCD I suffer from is one that people don't talk much about. Maybe b/c it's Taboo....maybe b/c it's so personal...and for that reason, I am still not comfortable talking about it. Not even to my husband of almost 12 yrs. This OCD I have suffered with since I was 11 1/2. Very few of my nearest and dearest friends know b/c...well, for me, it's quite embarrassing.

So my doctor has promised to do his very best at helping me get better. *Sigh of relief* I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to being better. For myself and for my family. And if I have to do that with the aid of meds., which I've always been against taking, then so be it.

Now, moving onto other things!

I have gotten back into school, again. This time not with a University, yet anyway! That is in the works but I don't want to take on more than I can handle so right now I'm doing the Penn Foster College (Career School) route for Travel & Tourism to get my certification to be a Travel Agent. I'm excited b/c I love to travel (even though I know that's not a reason to want to do this) but to be able to help people plan these dream vacations, to help them reconnect with old friends & family or to just send them on their way for business excites me. I feel like this could be something that I will really enjoy doing and I can't wait until I get the chance!

Next up my husband (with the help of his mom) is trying to get a loan to purchase his (our) own big truck. This will benefit our family in many ways and I'm just trying to keep that in mind as we go through this long and very trying process.

What else?? Oh, my desktop has decided to get like 27 viruses in it and is shut down. Ugh. So as soon as we can, it will be taken to be fixed. I should have known- first the flat screen just stopped working and then the modem. Stupid thing. I am on via Brent's laptop that we got for him to take out on the road so we can see him through the web cam b/c we were only able to see him for 3 days @ a time every month (will be another plus to owning his own truck- HOME TIME!!).

And b/c he loves me so much he bought me a Dell Mini 10 laptop! YAY!! I've only been asking for one for like, EVER!! LOL!! Unfortunately, it's not scheduled to arrive until beginning of March. Humph.

You remember Twayla yeah? Little Diva's imaginary friend/stuffed Barbie cat? Well, she's back. She actually never left but just kind of quieted down...until the other day....when I found red color crayon drawings in the corner of the living room...then more in The Super Twins room, and 2 more places in The Boy Wonder's closet and bedroom. Who dunnit? Why Twayla of course. And just why did she do it? B/c she couldn't find any paper to make her pictures on. Hmmmm....Twayla was put in her pet kennel for the reminder of the day and Little Diva was made to wipe the walls with a damp washcloth. Yes I knew that wasn't going to get the crayon off the wall but I'm not handing the WD40 over to a 4 year old! While she wiped, she wailed and wailed and wiped. Pleading her case that she "didn't do it." Uh-huh. Afterwards she was made to sit in her Brat chair for time out (she has one of those foamy chairs that happens to have those hideous dolls on it).

I think that's about everything here! I'll stop by your blogs as soon as I can, promise :)

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