Guilt Sucks

You know the guilt you get when you put that little extra something in the shopping trolley? How about when you're cramming that #3 (guilt) meal down your throat? Renting that movie you've been dying to see & even though it's not a 'dirty' one, it sure makes you feel like it.

Yep, that 5, 10, 20 (etc.) dollar extra of whatever, makes you feel like complete & udder shite. Shoppers guilt? No, I don't think so. This is the guilt associated with being a parent. That 5 bucks could buy a gallon & a half of milk on a rainy day. 10 & over could be spent on extra groceries, a pack of socks, a couple shirts or something your kid(s) would want & enjoy.

I suffer from this guilt...a lot. Probably every other trip to the local Wal-Mart. I always find myself putting things back on the way to the checkout line. Even worse is when I do it as the cashier is just fixing to scan it;"I don't need that nevermind," I blurt out.

There have been many times when I do my best to ignore the guilt of getting something that's not a necessity. Heaven forbid should I, the parent, need or enjoy a little pick-me-up in my life. Buying loo paper & fabric softener can only make you smile when your favorite brand goes on sale.

And so I fought this guilt last Friday when I decided I was buying new lamps for the living room. I fought the "parent guilt" as I decided not to get the beautiful $130 ones I've had my eye on for a month (that were on sale for $83 by the way). I fought it when I finally settled on a pair for 40 bucks a piece. I fought it when I put one back & said outloud, "I'll come back next week for that one." I fought it as I brought the damn thing in the house. Two days later, I was still feeling a bit of guilt for getting a lamp even though new lamps are in order. (Football in the house isn't ok just b/c it's a "soft one" & a smoking cord just isn't cool.)

Come this Friday when I go to get the matching lamp, I am determined to do it guilt free because damn it I deserve it!